


Hashtag Hey You I Don't Like Your Boyfriend

by dametokillfor



Series: Hashtag Behind The Scenes [3]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 10:46:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8324842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dametokillfor/pseuds/dametokillfor
Summary: Ray likes to pride himself on his niceness. He likes everyone, rarely has a bad word to say and has been known to get little to no sleep to stay up talking to his fans. The feeling is generally mutual, people like him, even Leonard likes him really, their teasing is just for show. Mostly. Ray’s a people person, and he doesn’t think that’s a bad thing. But there’s something about Barry Allen that he doesn’t like. ---xIn which Barry is an angel, Ray doesn't trust him and someone might get accidentally poisoned.





	

**Author's Note:**

> In case anyone gets the wrong idea, I love Barry Allen to pieces. He's the cutest of all the patoots and I adore him. This is also only the second time I've really tried to write him, and I hope I've done a decent job. (Also his Twitter handle isn't a typo).

**@LeonardSnart:** Nice working with someone that has a level of professionalism this week. **@BarryAlien**.

 **@RayPalmer: @LeonardSnart @BarryAlien** You wound me.

 **@LeonardSnart: @RayPalmer** I try. You’re deceptively sturdy.

\---x

Ray likes to pride himself on his niceness. He likes everyone, rarely has a bad word to say and has been known to get little to no sleep to stay up talking to his fans. The feeling is generally mutual, people like him, even Leonard likes him really, their teasing is just for show. _Mostly_. Ray’s a people person, and he doesn’t think that’s a bad thing.

But there’s _something_ about Barry Allen that he doesn’t like. 

On the surface, he’s a great guy. He’s jovial, friendly, treats everyone on set with the respect they deserve. He’s nice to extras, poses for photos with fans even after long days and is an all round peach.

But Ray doesn’t like him.

And he thinks Barry knows he doesn’t like him, because he keeps being nice to him. (Usually Ray’s own plan of attack in such a situation).

It kind of annoys Ray that he doesn’t like him, he prides himself on being a big gooey marshmallow who loves everyone, and this is a severe black mark on his record.

Even Leonard likes Barry. They worked together on another show, Leonard guesting as a villain for a season, and struck up a firm friendship. They keep talking about the old set, and the people they had there, laughing about how their characters were shipped something fierce by the fans, and them. There even appears to be a little flirting going on, and that’s good, really. After Mick, Leonard deserves someone nice, and Barry Allen is really _nice_.

It should be perfect, the set should be even happier, but somehow it’s awkward and tense, and it’s making everyone grumpy.

Making matters worse is the fact Barry’s role on the show is as Bran’s ex, Gus, a character the fans have been dying to see for ages as he’s credited as the reason Bran went to space.

They have a lot of scenes together over the course of this arc. Flashbacks of their previous relationship, a couple of fights – Ray thinks he can do those – and a scene where Gus begs Bran to leave with him, and Bran reveals he’s in love with Went.

Oh, and on top of everything else, the big reveal that Bran is part of an alien race that mates for life, and by leaving Gus, he now faces a 40% chance of death from a disease only unbonded individuals can contract.

(Ray’s job is ridiculous. He loves it.)

But before he can worry about impending death, he has to worry about not punching his co-star.

\---x

“Ray, hey.”

Barry’s voice is way too cheerful for 6AM. Ray’s been in make up since three, having spines carefully applied to his back, and blue scales across his arms and legs. They’re about half done, and not even he is managing to be enthusiastic anymore. Allen’s appearance is the icing on the cake of _fuck this_.

Barry crosses around in front of him, ensuring he says hi to each make up artist while avoiding touching their work. He’s got a large tray of coffees in one hand, and a paper bag in the other. He puts the bag on the side and plucks a cardboard coffee cup from the tray and hands it to Ray.

“Vanilla Hazelnut Latte, extra hot.” He grins widely, “Thought you might need the caffeine about now.”

He looks Ray up and down, “You look awesome.”

“It does look pretty good. Mary and Eliza have done great work.”

“Oh yeah, which is whyyy...” He puts the carrier down, and takes out two other cups, “One soy macchiato, and one black as death Americano.”

He hands one to each of the artists, both of whom look ready to kiss him for the sweet caffeine.

He then picks up the bag, pulls out and lines up four delicious looking muffins, “And gluten free blueberry muffins.”

Oh Ray really hates him, but not really because _muffins_. Mary and Eliza get to their feet, and both head for a muffin.

“You need to… dry… for as long as it takes me to eat this, and drink this.” Eliza says, lifting her muffin and coffee in turn.

Mary nods and mumbles through a mouthful of muffin, “That.”

The pair of them leave the Winnebago, leaving Ray and Barry alone with their breakfast and an awkward silence.

“I’m sorry.” They both say at the same time. There’s a little smile between them, before Barry nods, “You first.”

“I’ve been a total dick to you, and I don’t know why, and I’m sorry.” Ray says, “I wish I could explain it, and that I had a reason for it, but you’re great and you’ve not done anything wrong.”

Ray stuffs a bit of muffin in his face, he’s conscious he’s talking too much and it’s the obvious answer.

“Except steal all Len’s attention.” Barry points out, “Who you’re completely in love with.”

He regrets the muffin, as he sprays it across the make up mirror in front of him, “What? No. No. I’m not in love with Snart.”

“You didn’t start the _poemsforsnart_ hashtag? Or _songsforsnart?_ ” Barry digs in his jeans pocket, and pulls out his phone, flipping it to Twitter.

“Oh! No, that’s just because it annoys him. I mean, he’s one of my idols but...” Ray shakes his head, “No, I don’t like him like that.”

“Roses are red, they need water, my darling Snart, lift my restraining order.” Barry reads from his phone, “Just sang Bette Midler to Snart, he offered to be the boot beneath my balls.”

“Like I said, it annoys him.”

“So you’re not just pulling his pigtails, pushing him in the mud for a response?” Barry asks. He sounds way too invested in this. Ray wonders if he’s trying to sound out any potential competition before going after Snart.

Ray shakes his head, “Nope. Besides me and Snart? Really? He can do a lot better.”

“Wow. You really worship him, don’t you?” Barry doesn’t sound mocking, not like any other number of friends or guest stars who’ve seen that Ray really is _always_ like this.

“Well yeah.” Ray shrugs, “I guess it’s kind of dumb really.”

Barry smiles, “No. Len really is _something_.”

“So, y’know if you wanted to ask him out, or whatever.” Ray says, “He’d probably say yes.”

Ray’s stomach rolls uncomfortably, the effects of too much sugary coffee so early.

“Awesome!” Barry chirps, and Ray thinks he hates him again, “I mean, I don’t think my wife would be too psyched – “

“You’re married?”

Barry wiggles his ring finger, a noticeable tan line around it, “Have to take it off for roles like this, but yeah. Four years. You didn’t know?”

Ray shakes his head, “Don’t really follow gossip.”

Barry smiles, “So, now you know you don’t have any competition, you sure you’re not just pulling Snart’s pigtails?”

Ray opens his mouth to reply, when the door to the Winnebago opens again.

“Break’s over, hot stuff.” Eliza announces, “Your nipples won’t disguise themselves!”

\---x

The make up is hell. Ray can barely see through the black contacts, and the fangs are rubbing his gums. There’s an itch right at the back of his skull, and if he scratches it with the claws on then he will tear the latex cap covering his hair apart or rip himself open with a quill.

His alien self has clearly been designed by a sadist.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Leonard, _Went_ asks. Ray thinks he’s stood in front of him, but that could just as easily be a pillar.

“Look at me.” Ray replies, “I’m part of the most feared species in the verse. How could I tell you?”

“What did you think I’d do?”

“Airlock me, to be honest. We’re doing pretty well talking.”

“Jesus, Bran, you really think I’d do that to you?”

“I am a Vorgon.”

“And? Bran, you have proven yourself over and over to this crew, to me. You are a good person, Vorgon or not.”

Ray feels Leonard’s hands on his face before he sees him, “I wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you weren’t.”

There’s another twinge in Ray’s stomach, and he’s sure Barry spiked his coffee with something. He pushes past it, focuses on the scene.

“You love me?”

Leonard presses a soft kiss to his lips, unscripted but not unwelcome, “I love you.”

Ray’s stomach is churning, his chest is tight and he’s not entirely certain this isn’t a heart attack. But he’s nothing if not professional, so he pushes it down and musters a grin, loses himself in Bran.

“Always knew you were kinky, Captain.” Ray tells him, smirk and all, “You know what’s under a Vorgon robe.”

“Only from sleazy holovids. You’re one of the few species I haven’t sampled yet.”

“You should know better than to believe the holovids. In reality, there are way more teeth.” Ray ensures to flash all his needle fangs.

“Maybe I should count them?”

“You don’t have enough fingers.”

There’s a small huff of a laugh, and Leonard rests his head against Ray’s. He presses a soft kiss to Ray’s cheek.

“I love you too, you know.” Ray tells him, “And if I… if the plague gets me, then I don’t regret a thing.”

Ray thinks he can feel wet tears against his cheek, and shit, is Leonard crying? Ray’s going to have to up his game. He wants to kiss away the tears, but he’s slightly concerned he’ll miss and lick Len’s contact.

He settles for wrapping his arms around Leonard, pulls him close and whispers to him, “Don’t cry, you’re making me look bad.”

He can feel Leonard’s soft laughter against his neck, and the response of “I only have to show up to do that.”

\---x

 **@BarryAlien:** Roses are red, violets are blue, sorry **@RayPalmer** for poisoning you. #poemsforpalmer

 **@LeonardSnart: @BarryAlien** I knew there was a reason we were friends, Allen.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Has Ray been 'poisoned' though, or is Ray just an overdramatic doofus who hasn't quite figured things out yet?
> 
> I also apologize for how utterly silly this show is getting, I don't know when to stop! (Fun fact, when originally describing Ray's alien self, I ended up describing a Vorcha from Mass Effect.) 
> 
> Come find me on [Tumblr](http://damnstevens.tumblr.com).


End file.
